It matters this time.

i owe you stories? like hello. YOU OWE ME MONEY. hahah. kidding love.

i don’t want to be on that world which you think it should revolve around you. that’s why i’d rather die. you’re just too much. i can’t keep up with you, and your vain self. this happens when things get too close, til the point where i know i’ll be happier if i don’t know you that well. do best friends do this shit often?

cousin dear, your beauty means literally nothing when you’re a cranky German. There goes our bloody affair. Please, live a blissful life with your douche chopstick. A can of coke? You can throw him better than that dearie.

sometimes i think you’re desperately in need to know when and where EXACTLY to put a full fucking stop in your talks. there is a reason why i hated talking, and it is not to be your full time listener. i need space damn it. but still, as if you care. you’re just you.

a foreign thumb pushed my chin down. as soon as my first mouthful breath escaped, lips touched, mine pushed, taken over. this heart. the fine line between dream and reality blurred, alas.

seems like i’m stalking someone these days. well, i don’t necessarily call it ‘stalking’, because what i have been doing does not live up to that meaning. but, i’m sure as hell others will call it so, since her facebook, tumblr, blogspot and even formspring.me’s links are already bookmarked  on my browser. any of her updates excites me. whatever. curiosity kills. not that i like her or whatever. well. it’s just that i see her wits. she speaks her mind well, and that quality of hers attracts me. it’s like, every word is executed solidly. she’s intriguing, beautiful and has that catchy aura that you just want more from this girl. she can totally be my friend. not that my other friends are a total trash. sigh. speaking of other friends, a particular one pops out in my mind. as of now. she has once said, and i quote, ‘try and remember back those happy memories we lived in the past. it’ll help you to forgive her’. this came from her, when she tried to comfort me the other day, being the good friend she is. yeah it helped, i guess. it doesn’t really do the trick, because in the end i’d ended up hating the other partner in that ‘game’ shit. not that i hate him completely from the core of myheart. he’s just fucking annoying. why am i ranting about him anyway? well, what i’m trying to say here is, everytime when i think of him, annoyance  fills in me. unfortunately, the same happens when i think of V. the very person who comforted me. the very person who was born on the very same month as mine, almost in the very same week. the very person who is as shit stubborn as i am. not that i hate her, no. she’s a dear, totally. it’s just her attitude. her ego. yes, that shit. hers is as big as china and russia combined. a woman of cockiness. short tempered. sometimes ignorant. sometimes selfish. bad mouth. i, on the other hand, is a woman of sin. just, who am i to judge these people. shit. fucking shit.

when will i ever be happy