November 2011
1 post
October 2010
1 post
i owe you stories? like hello.
YOU OWE ME MONEY.
hahah. kidding love.
August 2010
1 post
i don’t want to be on that world which you think it should revolve around you. that’s why i’d rather die. you’re just too much. i can’t keep up with you, and your vain self.
this happens when things get too close, til the point where i know i’ll be happier if i don’t know you that well.
do best friends do this shit often?
July 2010
2 posts
metamorphosis
cousin dear, your beauty means literally nothing when you’re a cranky German.
There goes our bloody affair.
Please, live a blissful life with your douche chopstick. A can of coke? You can throw him better than that dearie.
sometimes i think you’re desperately in need to know when and where EXACTLY to put a full fucking stop in your talks. there is a reason why i hated talking, and it is not to be your full time listener. i need space damn it.
but still, as if you care. you’re just you.
June 2010
3 posts
a foreign thumb pushed my chin down.
as soon as my first mouthful breath escaped,
lips touched,
mine pushed,
taken over. this heart.
the fine line between dream and reality blurred, alas.
May 2010
2 posts
seems like i’m stalking someone these days. well, i don’t necessarily call it ‘stalking’, because what i have been doing does not live up to that meaning. but, i’m sure as hell others will call it so, since her facebook, tumblr, blogspot and even formspring.me’s links are already bookmarked on my browser. any of her updates excites me. whatever. curiosity...
here goes nothing
when will i ever be happy
April 2010
1 post
believable lie. nice.
I admire you’re determination in fighting for your privacy. The lengths you went were surprisingly impeccable, as if we’re your close strangers. Not that I’m immensely curious and wanting to know everything about your love life, but please, at least keep it real. For several months you had played this ‘relationship game’ in which I was one of the fooled ones to...
February 2010
3 posts
things happen. this one is a first
He may not his old self, but sometimes I feel he is going back. Never once I put ‘idiot’ and him in the same sentence, but he was really pissed I see. Damn emotional guys are the worst
yes, i am being tested.
I have sacrificed too much. And I will sacrifice more in the future. Basically, this means putting my head on the chopping block. Unnecessary duties and unwanted posts, I’ve got them in the bag. It just kills me inside seeing my close ones complain on their fucked up comfort zone when they are starting to fill in my shoes. I am swallowing these burden without even tasting them. Maybe I...
make me high, OOR
Friggin mp4 somehow isn’t working now. That thing is seriously like a drug to me. I couldn’t waste any free second without those head-banging numbers. Well, now I’m without it, I guess I have to have them in my head instead.
Currently am addicted to 完全感覚dreamer by ONE OK ROCK. Am listening to it, seems it’s going infinitely. I need to get a fcking life, I know. But this is...
January 2010
8 posts
feb is the new jan
2010 started with an off track with mine. i am so not going to let history repeating its unpredictable shit. so i am trying again. everybody else may had their first 2010 start.
i am going to start my second first start.
lets do this
seriously. this has to stop
Indeed. Because I just had a dream of big bro J again.
Why this excitement? Goodness gracious..I am twisted.
“Kau dengan E*** ada apa apa ka?”
– some blurry somebody from a place called ‘dream’
Dear V,
I think I’ve had enough of your secrets.
I fucking hate it when you play with our curiosity, especially with you with your secretive mask on.
If you feel like telling, please be a considerate friend and just spit your shit out.
I’m not mad, I am certainly am not. Because I can deal with it.
I just feel like posting.
Love, me
oops
Dear bro J,
Your questions and invitations have made me feel insecure. Although both of us are no strangers to each other, but that was not a nice way to reconnect old ties. I’m talking about years of rotten ties.
Maybe it’s just me. But whatever.
I appreciate your calls though. And your intention to reconnect.
Love,
me
dang dang eff dang
back to school. back to hell. arghh
bloody affair
Dear J,
Your perfect hands turn me on. They looked sexy.
You looked kinda good too somehow. I wish you were nearer.
Love,
me
December 2009
33 posts
irony for breakfast
I just had a weird dream of the two brothers. But there were 3 of them in it. Weird, but anyway, all of them, died. Cause of their deaths remain unknown. As soon as I entered the picture, they have already passed. Each wrapped in black human-sized plastic bag, they were carried in the car.
Not long after, we stopped at what it seemed like a ‘proper’ burial ground. Talk about a narrow...
私は彼らの愛
It has only been a day after the trip, and I’m missing them already.
It was purely family fun. I don’t get to experience that under my own roof. It’s not that my family are boring, but when I was with them, I actually felt joyful inside. Deep down.
Everybody was damn playful. That clear fact conspicuously lined a difference between them, and those from my mom’s.
Again,...
incestful thinking
that’s how strong my Satan is
deepest
私は誰か私を愛してほしい
vacuumed
It is really amazing when a single look at a piece of object sucks you back to your yesteryear, is it not? I just had that experience, and I don’t like it. As soon as I entered their kitchen, shook hands with grandma, and looked over the surroundings of the impressively unclean kitchen, my heart got teared. So had my eyes but I’m a queen in disguising it. It has been.. years, long long...
morning nagging
I’m not exactly excited about where I’m set to go later. Talk about years after reconciliation. I have no idea how this will go.
indescribable
Words can’t describe what I’ve been through on the twentieth day of this blessed month. Ups and downs both are at their peaks, and God knows how much I have enjoyed each moment. Enjoyed the real bliss, the real pain.
In a midst of two very opposing ideas, both tend to win over each other. There are times where the other chooses to bear the pain in the heart rather than to lash it all...
thought for the day
never ask a fatty to cook a meal for you
“I think transexuality is a radically evolved state of being.”
– fellow traveler. who at the end stole the car
